I love the book “Don’t sweat the small stuff… and it is all small stuff,” because it always hits home for me. “It is all small stuff!”
WOW! Something amazing comes when you realize that most of the things you worry and stress about are “the little things that try to take over your life.” True wisdom comes from realizing that there are only a few BIG THINGS that matter.
From all 100 lessons that the author shares in his book, there are 8 that truly resonate with me and I want to share them with you today.
I feel that they are essential to be reminded of NOW as we step into the Christmas – New Year season. This time of the year is often stressful and overwhelming with all the last minute shopping, preparations, and the need to balance so many things… …including family dynamics. Not to mention the very challenging global situation that we are all in together.
LESSON #1. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY OVER BEING RIGHT.
I always loved Wayne Dyer’s famous question, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”
How many times at work or in your personal life have you chosen to be right? It usually goes like this; you try to explain your point of view logically, get emotional, and sometimes, even argue, just to be right. If you have been in this situation, you know that it takes so much of your precious energy. It also has the potential to take you on a downward spiral of negative thoughts and emotions.
The longer you are trying to prove you are right, the worst you feel. Think about it. How many times has someone ever said to you, “Oh wow, thank you, you have shown me the light, and you’re right!” If you are like me, the next time will be the first time. So, instead we end up feeling angry, frustrated, and drained of energy.
I know it is not easy, but sometimes all we need to say is… “That is an interesting point of view… thank you for sharing it with me.”
You don’t have to agree or disagree; you acknowledge that their point of view is different than yours. Trust me, it takes all the pressure off in a split second… and it feels amazing not to get yourself engaged in exhausting negative energy!
LESSON #2. THE ART OF “STAYING IN YOUR OWN BUSINESS”.
A few years ago, I went to a live three-day seminar to see one of my favorite authors, Byron Katie.
In her books and interviews, she often talks about three types of businesses: mine, yours, and God’s. For her, everything that is out of our control is God’s business. Much of the stress we experience comes from not being fully in our business and living too often in either other people’s or God’s business.
When you think, “You need to stop drinking; or, I want you to be happy; or, she should get a better job,” you are in someone else’s business. When you say “this earthquake, flood, or other catastrophes shouldn’t happen,” you are in God’s business.
Have you ever thought about what an “out of body experience” looks like? If “I’m in your business or God’s business then nobody’s home,” meaning, you are not present in your own life. If we are mentally living our children’s, parent’s, and other people’s lives, who is living ours?
The simple step that I left this transformational workshop with is; asking myself and my students when they or I get too stressed or overwhelmed; “Who’s business am I in?”
LESSON 3. “LIFE ISN’T AN EMERGENCY.”
I always remind my clients that most of you don’t work at the emergency unit, and small children are not being hurt when they don’t pick up a phone the moment it rings or reply to an email right away. In fact, I know that it’s more productive to take a step back, slow down, and become present to prioritize what requires our attention and energy each day. In the grand scheme of life, most of our daily “emergencies” truly are not that important, and most of them are just distractions that keep us busy instead of productive.
The key is to stop categorizing everything as an “emergency.”
The simple ways I use to keep minutiae from taking over my life include reading my goals and desires daily and having fun reviewing my life vision and vision board as often as possible.
LESSON #4. EVEN IF YOU CHOSE TO BE GENTLE AND RELAXED, YOU WILL STILL ACHIEVE YOUR DESIRE.
Society teaches us that we constantly need to be doing something and always be on the go. But constantly thinking about the next big thing expends a lot of energy; it can be stressful and draining, and as a result, can take you away from your success. When you are balanced and have inner peace, you are more precise and focused on your goals.
In fact, in today’s world where everybody is always busy, works long hours, and wears it as a badge of honor, I’m teaching my clients something that one of my mentors taught me, “work on stopping yourself when you say “I’m too busy.” When you are constantly busy, it can be another way of saying that you don’t have your priorities in order.”
LESSON #5. SET ASIDE QUIET TIME, EVERY DAY… ESPECIALLY DURING THE HOLIDAYS
I teach and practice intentional living, and I know that we can truly transform our lives in a matter of a few weeks when we take the time to set an intention and connect with our desires daily.
If we don’t create this time, then other circumstances, people, and events can easily create distractions and take us away from our life vision. If we allow them to do it, we end up re-creating the same paths in our life.
Practicing mindfulness might sound complicated, but it can be as simple as setting aside time in the morning every day to sit and be quiet. Many times, all I do is light a candle, journal for a few minutes, read a few paragraphs of an inspiring book. Other times, I’ll be silent and grateful. I’ll do the same thing at night – just before going to bed; I’ll look at my calendar, and I’ll calmly think about all I have to do before I set an intention to complete my tasks feeling at ease and focused. This simple technique has done wonders, even when the next day looks very busy.
LESSON #6. REMEMBER THAT YOU BECOME WHAT YOU PRACTICE MOST
Not many people who know me now, know that I used to be a very negative person. Now, many people are complimenting me on how positive I am. How did I go from being very negative about things to being a positive person? It was a conscious choice; I made a conscious decision that I’ll practice being more positive about things. I found that being positive makes me feel good, and it affects other people. I discovered that even with a simple answer to a question, “How are you?” when you say “Fantastic!” you feel much better than if you say “Not bad.” Try it next time and see for yourself!
LESSON #7. DO ONE THING AT A TIME… AND ENJOY IT.
How often do we women talk on the phone with a friend while cooking dinner, checking our email, and unpacking groceries? While multitasking has been praised, it’s not a positive state of being and is quickly falling out of favor with conscious women entrepreneurs. It makes it harder for you to be successful and enjoy what you do when you multitask because you are not fully present in anything you do. The truth is that you are everywhere and nowhere, all at the same time.
Eckhardt Tolle once said, “If you were conscious, that is to say totally present in the now, all negativity would dissolve. It could not survive in your presence.”
It takes courage to set boundaries with yourself to work, live, and enjoy the present moment without distractions. The first step is to give yourself the gift of time and permission to do one thing at a time.
LESSON #8. “WILL THIS MATTER A YEAR FROM NOW?”
One of my favorite coaching questions, when I’m helping a client decide whether something is worth fighting, is simple; “Will this matter a year from now?” If the answer is no, the decision should be, let it go. Without bringing your attention and seeing a bigger picture of how this singular incident will play in your life, you can spend your time thinking, worrying, or fighting for things that do not deserve your energy.
We are all in this together! We live our lives to learn and become the best we can be.
That is why the biggest wisdom is to “Change the things that can be changed, accept those that cannot, and have the wisdom to know the difference.”
I would love to know what your thoughts are. Please share your favorite life lessons in the comments below.
IF YOU READY TO STEP INTO THE NEXT LEVEL OF SUCCESS, FINANCIAL FREEDOM, AND LIVING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE IN 2021, REACH OUT TO ME TODAY.
Schedule your FREE CONSULTATION and let’s talk about how I can support you in getting clear on your business, lifestyle and financial objectives.
YOU DESERVE IT!
For more info visit our website @ldvelite.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
RENIA M. ORR IS AN INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS STRATEGIST, SUCCESS COACH, SPEAKER, AND THE FOUNDER OF LDV ELITE.
SHE IS A SPEAKER FOR FORTUNE 500 COMPANIES, APPEARS ON NBC TV AND OTHER TELEVISION PROGRAMMING, AND IS AN ACCOMPLISHED AUTHOR.